Vasilia Graboski
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Psyched Writer

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This blog is a resource for fellow therapists, parents and teachers. I will provide suggestions and reviews of books that I have found especially therapeutic and useful for various social-emotional issues.  And...my favorite part...I will provide accompanying activities related to the book to help with teaching social-emotional skills.

​I would love for you to check it out and give me your feedback. 

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February Winner Announced!

2/28/2022

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Congratulations Mary McClellan! You are our February winner of this month's book, RED, A CRAYON'S STORY! Thanks everyone for your comments! See you in March with another great book about gender identity!
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Being Your Authentic Self

2/14/2022

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February is a month to celebrate for Psyched Writer! Along with Valentine's Day, it is our Blog-iversary. Three years in the books! I'm counting on you to help me celebrate! Comment on this month's blog post and you will be eligible to win the book for February, Red, A Crayon's Story. I will randomly pick a winner (U.S. only) from the comments on the last day of February. Stay tuned! 

A Book Review of Red, A Crayon's Story

Red, A Crayon's Story
Written and Illustrated by: Michael Hall
Published by: Greenwillow Books, 2015

Red, A Crayon's Story, is a brilliant book that is a must-read for children, teens, as well as (and especially) adults. The crayon, labeled red on the outside, was actually blue on the inside. As much as Red tried to live up to his label, he was unsuccessful. He sustained much pressure and judgement from the other crayons. Something was wrong and needed fixing. And, everyone had a suggestion. He felt like a failure as he wasn't living up to other's, or even his own, expectations,
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Eventually, purple crayon accepted him for who he was and recognized his value. This provided Red the confidence that he needed to move forward. Red reached self-acceptance for who he truly was and gained the courage to verbalize "I'm blue." This set him free. Once he was free to be his authentic self, he was accepted by the other crayons. 

Did you catch the metaphor? This book examines the journey of a transgender person working through gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is defined as the discomfort and distress caused by a discrepancy between a person's gender identity (blue crayon) and their assigned sex at birth (red label). There is also some blending between the colors in the book to create new colors. This is not only an art lesson in color mixing, it represents a powerful point. The point is that color, or gender, are not absolute. They can be blended and explored to create a continuim of colors (or gender). Thus, gender can be on a spectrum, ranging from very male to very female and everthing in between. 


Why is this book appropriate for young children? Some children as young as 3 years old start to question their gender. Some are able to verbalize this feeling, for example, "My body is a boy, but I'm a girl." Or, "My parts don't match who I am." Or simply by insisting repeatedly that they are the other gender. Research shows that about 75% of transgender adults began experiencing gender dysphoria between the ages of 4.5 and 7. Therefore, it is in the best interest of gender-questioning young children to see themselves in literature and to not feel alone with their feelings. 

This book is equally important for those who aren't in the situation of questioning their sexual identity. If children learn about the transgender experience at a young age, they are more likely to become accepting. If we can develop openess for differences early on, our society will be all the better for it. Sadly, the crayon society is leaps and bounds ahead of us in learning acceptance. 

Transgender individuals are vulnerable in our society. They are often the victims of teasing, bullying, and physical abuse. Due to this intolerance, the rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide are extremely high among this group.  It is crucial for the mental health of all humans to be able to live their best lives as their authentic selves.  

Since this blog post is already long, and I have much more to say, I'm going to continue with this topic next month. I will be in search of another amazing book on gender identity/questioning to review! March's post will be focused on addressing the needs of the gender questioning child. Make sure to check out the fun exercise below!

If you wish to purchase this book, click HERE. Or better yet, purchase it at an independent bookstore near you. 

An Activity Idea for Red, A Crayon's Story

Materials needed: 
-Paper bag
-Crayons or markers
-pencil
-Construction paper
-scissors
Directions: 
1. Have the child draw themselves on
the front of the paper bag and color. 








​2. Have the child add a label to the front of the bag of their assigned sex at birth. Boy or girl. 





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​3. Discuss the child's interests and
favorites and write them down.
For example:
favorite color, 
favorite toys,
favorite things to do,
favorite sports,
favorite movies,
favorite books,
hairstyles they prefer,
clothes they prefer to wear.

4. Draw their favorites and interests
from above on a separate paper:
Cut them out.







​5. Have them place these cut-outs
 inside the bag. 



6. Discuss the fact that people have different ideas on what fits the boy label or girl label based on what they've been taught. 

- Should you be able to like what you like, even though some people think that it doesn't match your label of boy or girl?  Why or why not? 

-Do you ever get teased when your interests or favorites don't fit with what others think is appropriate for a  boy or girl?
How does that make you feel? 

-If you felt forced to change or hide what you like because others thought it didn't match your label of boy or girl, how would you feel?














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I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll Mess With Your Mental Health

1/14/2022

4 Comments

 

A Book Review of The Big, Bad Wolf In My House

The Big, Bad Wolf In My House
Written By: Valérie Fontaine
Illustrated By: Nathalie Dion
Translated By: Shelley Tanaka
Published By: Groundwood Books, Canada, 2021

Recently I came across this gem of a picture book that addresses the difficult topic of Domestic Violence (DV). There are very few picture books out there on this topic, so I was excited to find this one! It is appropriate for children's ages 4-8. The author, Valérie Fontaine, creatively combines symbolism (a wolf to represent the abuser) with a familiar fairy tale reference (The Three LIttle Pigs) to approach this subject with kids. This results in a powerful read that children can relate to and understand. 
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Children in Domestic Violence environments, even if they are "sleeping" during the incidents, are very aware of what is going on in their home. Kids hear and notice things much more than we give them credit for. This is the reason I love that this story is told from the point of view of a child. This quote from the book, shows how insightful and observant children can be in these situations. 

                     "He batted his eyelashes and purred like a pussycat in front of
                      my mother. But he looked at me with cold eyes and sharp teeth."


Children are often the indirect victims of domestic violence. Living in a toxic, DV environment severely impacts children. This is true even if the children are not the direct victims. Kids who witness violence in their home often live "on guard," worrying about when the next incident will occur. They worry about their own safety, as well as that of the parent victim.  This can lead to chronic anxiety. 

Kids within a DV situation also present with other symptoms which may include nightmares, sleep problems, anger, irritability, concentration issues and somatic complaints.  Preschoolers may revert to younger behaviors such as bedwetting, thumb sucking, whining, etc. These issues often continue even after the child is removed from the situation. These indirect victims are also at risk for long-term consequences such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, health problems and repeating abusive patterns in their future relationships.

​The combination of powerfully written and drawn images pull the reader into the heartache of the story. For example, "The honeymoon was sour, like lemons" and "The wolf was spitting mad,"  provide strong images, even without the illustrations. However, the artist, Nathalie Dion, takes those written images further by shining a light on the intense feelings that the situation evokes.

Speaking of shining a light, the illustrator includes literal lights illuminating certain toxic situations in the book. I find this quite clever as DV situations are often kept in the dark and remain a family secret. This book shines a light on the issue of domestic violence and shows kids that they don't have to stay in the dark with this secret.

Equally as brilliant, the illustrator subtly includes shadows which provide a strong representation of the realities of this situation. The shadows of the wolf are large and elongated showing the overpowering nature of the abuser in her life and how truly scary this is for her. The last page shows a reflection of the window with crossbars over the sleeping girl in the shelter which reflects that she is now safe. 

The Big, Bad Wolf in My House portrays many common reactions to DV in the home by children. Some of these include over-compliance to avoid making waves, intense fear and closing off from others in order to survive mentally. The book ends on a hopeful note as the mother and daughter leave and go to a domestic abuse shelter, where the main character begins to feel safe.  

I highly recommend this book for kids who have been or currently are an indirect or direct victim of DV. This is an excellent resource to open up the topic of domestic violence in a gentle, yet powerful way. Children in DV situations will definitely identify with and feel less alone after reading this book. I have provided an activity below to accompany the book for the purpose of taking the discussion to the next level. 
 
If you wish to purchase the book, you can buy it HERE, or preferably, at an independent bookstore near you!

An Activity Idea For The Big, Bad Wolf In My House

*Discussion question ideas are below. 

Materials needed: 

-Empty cardboard paper towel roll
-Brown paint
-Paint brush
-Googly eyes
-Black and white construction paper or cardstock
-Scissors
-Glue
Directions: 
​1. Paint paper towel roll brown; Let Dry.






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2. Cut off a few inches of the end of the paper towel roll.









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3.Cut out a rectangle in the bottom middle
on front and back of the roll for legs. 






4. Cut vertically and flatten excess from paper towel roll; Cut out triangles as shown for ears.







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5. Glue on wolf from the inside.




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​6. Glue on googly eyes; Let dry.








7. Cut eyebrows out of black paper.








8. Glue on eyebrows to make an angry face.







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9. Draw on and cut out snout shape; leaving the top side intact.









​10. Bend up triangle to look like a snout.










11. With white  paper, cut out two groups 
of large, sharp teeth; one for top and one for bottom.





12. Glue on teeth; Let dry.















13. After they dry, bend teeth downward. 






​
14. Project complete! 

15. Now, discuss with the child if they have ever known someone who acts like the wolf in the story. 
         a. Who is/was your wolf?
      b. Tell me or draw something scary that happened with your wolf. Have the child tell you details about the incident(s).
      c. Where were you when that happened? What did you do? Did anyone help you feel safe? 
      d, What scares you the most about your wolf? 
      e., Have the child tell the wolf what scared them. ie. "Wolf, I didn't like to when you pushed my mommy against the wall and made her cry. It scared me." 
      f. What else would you like to say to the wolf now that you are bigger than him/her? 
     
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4 Comments

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again!

11/15/2021

4 Comments

 

A Book Review of Bella's Recipe for Success

Bella's Recipe for Success
Written by: Ana Siqueira
Illustrated by: Geraldine Rodríguez
Published by: Beaming Books

​This month I am reviewing another gem written by one of my talented critique partners, Ana Siqueira. It is an inter-generational story with Spanish language sprinkled throughout. The illustrator, Geraldine Rodríguez, with her large, colorful illustrations, brings the Latinx characters to life! This story is universal, as it normalizes the struggles of learning new skills and the accompanying feelings of discouragement that can ensue. It reinforces the Growth Mindset taught in many schools on the importance of practice and persistence. 
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Bella, the main character, upon witnessing the special skills of her siblings, searches for her own strengths. However, after half-hearted attempts at gymnastics and piano-her sibling's skills-she comes up empty. Then she decides that maybe baking is an area in which she can excel, like her abuela (grandmother). After much frustration and discouragement with her baking attempts, she persists. In fact, she tries so many times that I'm pretty sure she ran out of vanilla in the process! And with a nice touch by the illustrator, she made a major flour mess along the way (that I can totally relate to!). Eventually, Bella gets the recipe just right and all of her practice is rewarded with delicious cookies (oops, until she trips on the cat and they go flying across the room!). 

Through this story, Ms. Siqueira highlights the universal lapses of self-confidence that touches all of us from time to time. When we see others' successes, we may become discouraged, or even a little envious. Sometimes it seems that a certain skill comes easy for another person. We don't see the grit and hard work that the person plowed through to get to that skill level. But, if you've lived long enough, you know that nothing in this world comes easily. Everything takes hard work and lots of practice, which is the message of the book. 

Although, let's face it, even though EVERYTHING takes practice, we all do have strengths and  weaknesses (or challenges). These are based on heredity, innate neurological functioning and/or early learning experiences. Certain skills may come a little easier for us than other skills. To borrow wisdom from abuela in the book, "We're all good at different things." As a side note, I especially love the value placed on the wisdom and experience of the abuela in the story, which in our culture of technology has become undervalued.

While reading about Bella, I thought of the many kids I have encountered in my practice. Many of whom have experienced more than their fair share of defeat in life. That defeat may be due to their family circumstances, physical disabilities, mental health challenges or learning disabilities. Therefore, the themes raised in this book may become more pronounced for them, as their self-esteem has suffered. The common response of many of these children when confronted with a challenge often is "I can't." Therefore, this book would be especially helpful in these circumstances. 


Often kids with learning disabilities, for example, compare themselves to other students in their class and  feel inadequate. When working with these kids, I encourage them to explore their own strengths instead of dwelling on their challenges. For example, maybe reading is difficult for you, but you have a real science mind. Maybe you struggle with math, but you are a great soccer player. Maybe you don't walk well due to your disability, but you are a reading whiz. Maybe you struggle with paying attention, but you have amazing art skills. Maybe you lose your temper  easily, but you have a great sense of humor. 

A general idea on how I present this concept to kids is as follows: 

Some parts of our brains (challenges) don't work as well as other parts (strengths). So, those challenge parts have to depend on other parts of the brain to kick in and help. I refer to those helpers in the brain as "brain buddies." In order to get the "brain buddies" to work together, it takes much extra work and time, and can be frustrating. But, many skills that are hard for us are very important. So, we can't let the "brain buddies" give up. When we practice, we cheer on the "brain buddies!"

However, other parts of our brain, our strengths, work well and don't have to rely on the 'brain        buddies' to help out. Those things still require much practice, but maybe aren't as frustrating to master.


Displayed below, is a project using the above concept. This works well with kids that struggle with defeat. It is a perfect accompaniment to this book. 


Bella's Recipe for Success is about hope. Hope in our abiities to accomplish things and confidence in our abilities to contribute to the world in some way. Our mental health depends on this!

If you'd like to try your own hand at baking, Bella's special ethnic recipe is included at the back of the book! To purchase this book and to check out upcoming books by the author, Ana Siqueira, click here. 

An Activity Idea for Bella's Recipe for Success

First of all, of course make the polvorones from the recipe in the book. You can snack on those while doing the project below! Remember, if you mess them up the first time, try, try again!

In this month's project, we are going to talk about our own challenges and strengths, and draw them in our brain. Then, we are going to make warm and fuzzy "brain buddies" to help out with our challenges when needed. The "brain buddies" represent other parts of the brain that we need to access to help the part of the brain that is struggling. This is especially helpful for kids with learning problems. This project helps demonstrate why learning some skills is harder and takes longer to master than others. And, of course, to normalize the fact that we all have our challenges and strengths. Enjoy!
Materials needed: 
-Brain template- print out here
-Markers
-Glue
-Fuzzy craft balls
-Googly eyes
Directions:
1. Discuss with the child his/her challenges and strengths: Make a list. 
It's helpful to share your own to normalize
that everyone has both. 

2. Make brain buddies together
Discuss that these are the helpers in the brain for the challenges; 
​Glue eyes to five fuzzy balls; Let dry


















3. Have the child choose a color marker for his/her strengths and another for his/her challenges.

4. On the brain diagram using only the color marker for challenges, draw pictures of or write the child's challenges (it's best to do challenges first, so you end on a positive note with strengths!) 



5. With the strength color marker, draw or write the child's strengths. 

6. After everything is drawn, ask the child which ones are his challenges and draw flags with a red marker next to all of the challenges. 




7. Ask the child when he usually needs help from the "brain buddies" and have him/her surround that area with the buddies. 

8. Discuss all of the skills and ask if he/she needs help from the brain buddies for each.




​
​9. Discuss how it takes time for the brain buddies to see the red flags and to work together to come to that area of the brain to help. That's why those skills take longer to learn and may be more frustrating. You have to engage the brain buddies and sometimes they are traveling from all the way on the other side of the brain, or are tired and move slowly, or are on a lunch break!

​When we are working at mastering a new skill that is difficult for us, we need to cheer them on. C'mon Brain Buddies!!




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Home Is Where Your Heart Is!

10/15/2021

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Great news on Psyched Writer Blog this month! I have added categories linked to the topics of the book reviews/activity ideas. So, from now going forward, it will be much easier to find the topic you are looking for. I'm hoping this addition will make this blog experience much more user-friendly. The categories are listed on the right side of the post. Just click the category of interest and all of the book reviews/activities related to that topic will pop up. Check it out! 
​

A Book Review of Emily's Blue Period

Emily's Blue Period
Written By: Cathleen Daly
Illustrated By: Lisa Brown
​Published By: Roaring Book Press

I'd like to share another tidbit of exciting news from this past month! Sometime last year, I heard about a bookstore in Seattle, Washington, that focuses on "literary therapy." In September, I was visiting my son in Seattle, so, of course, I had to check it out! And I'm so glad I did! The bookstore, in the Capital Hill area of Seattle, is called Oh Hello Again. The unique twist on this bookstore, which is close to my heart, is that they organize their books by emotion.
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For example, if you are looking for a book on anxiety, you go to the "Anxiety" section and, VOILA, there are all of their books that address this topic in one spot! The books are mostly fiction and  represent all age levels from adults to young children. Definitely, a bibliotherapist's dream! If you live in or visit  the area, I definitely recommend checking it out in person. If not, their books are available for purchase on-line too! Check out their website here. 

Emily's Blue Period is one of the books I picked up at Oh Hello Again in September! I knew going into the store that my blog was lacking books on divorce. So, when I arrived into the store, I went to the section on "Divorce" and, VOILA, this book was calling my name! 

Emily's Blue Period is a picture book/early chapter book hybrid. It's divided into a few chapters and the length is a bit longer than a traditional picture book. However, it is full of beautiful illustrations. I would use this book for a wider range of children, specifically 4 - 10 year olds. The younger readers may need to read it in more than one sitting, depending on their attention span. 


The author, Cathleen Daly, does a fabulous job integrating a love of art, facts about a famous artist and the experience of separation/divorce into one story. The art focus in the story, in addition to teaching kids a bit about art history, lightens up the intense feelings portrayed in the book.

The main character, Emily, wants to be an artist when she grows up. She is learning about Pablo Picasso in school and makes efforts to emulate him. After Emily's father moves out of their house into an apartment, Emily uses her knowledge of Picasso to help navigate her experience. She compares Picasso's art of mixing things up to her family being mixed up. 

When Emily learns about Picasso's blue period, in which he was very sad and only painted in shades of blue, she relates and decides she is in her "blue period" also. During this time, her sadness comes through clearly in the book, as she refuses to participate in art class unless she can use the color blue. The book also brings in the strong emotions of Emily's brother, Jack, as he responds to the family situation with anger. 

The climax of the story comes when Emily learns about collage in art class. The teacher assigns the class a project to make a collage of their house. This is sad and confusing for Emily as she does not know which house to call her own. With the help of her family, she learns that "Home is where the heart is," and eventually comes up with an idea. Emily creates a collage in a heart shape and integrates special things from her mom and dad's house on her one heart. She calls it the home of her heart. This activity is very therapeutic for Emily and marks the end of her "blue period." 

The illustrations by Lisa Brown are detailed and in muted colors which fit the mood of the story. She uses a dull shade of blue throughout much of the book to accentuate the sadness that Emily is experiencing. 

I highly recommend this book for children who are navigating through separation and divorce of their parents. The collage activity from the story is such a great therapeutic activity, that this is the activity I'm going to recommend this month. 

Check out the author's website and explore other books by this author here.

An Activity Idea of Emily's Blue Period

This month we are going to create the same project as Emily in the book. It is an amazingly therapeutic idea for children of divorce, so I want to highlight it. This project is likely going to take more than one session. 

Materials Needed:
-large paper roll
-pencil
-scissors
-glue stick and strong glue 
-crayons or markers
-old magazines
-photos of parents, siblings, houses, etc. 
-Collected reminder items from each home
​that child would like to include
​-cut out computer images if needed
-heart stickers (optional)
Directions: 
1. From a roll of paper, cut off a large piece.







2. Fold the paper in half.




​







​

​3. Draw half of a heart on the crease of the paper and cut it out, leaving the crease intact. You can make the heart as big as you'd like.  

​



















4. Unfold; and VOILA, a heart! 
​
5. Spend some time discussing with the child the similarities and differences between their two homes. Discuss what is special at each of the homes and how they have fun with that parent. Brainstorm ways to portray these on the collage. 

6. After supplies have been gathered, glue
items on the heart in collage form. Start with the pictures and cut outs from magazines or computer. One side of the heart is about Mom and the other side is about Dad. Some of the things we added were a picture of each parent and a picture of the house. A picture of the pet she has at each house, bedding that her bedroom is decorated with, activities they do together, ie. baking, boating/fishing, etc. 

7. Then add names and words.








8. Draw and cut out a chimney and glue to the top of the heart. 






























​9. Add other 3 dimensional items; we added heart stickers, yarn that reminded her of carpet in each house, pom poms of their favorite colors, flowers because she and mom plant flowers together in the Spring, ice cream cone sticker as she and Dad often go out for ice cream, etc. 




​10. Finished project of the home that fills the child's heart! After all, home is where your heart is!
​
Display on wall. Enjoy!


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