Vasilia Graboski
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Psyched Writer

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This blog is a resource for fellow therapists, parents and teachers. I will provide suggestions and reviews of books that I have found especially therapeutic and useful for various social-emotional issues.  And...my favorite part...I will provide accompanying activities related to the book to help with teaching social-emotional skills.

​I would love for you to check it out and give me your feedback. 

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Being Your Authentic Self

2/14/2022

6 Comments

 
February is a month to celebrate for Psyched Writer! Along with Valentine's Day, it is our Blog-iversary. Three years in the books! I'm counting on you to help me celebrate! Comment on this month's blog post and you will be eligible to win the book for February, Red, A Crayon's Story. I will randomly pick a winner (U.S. only) from the comments on the last day of February. Stay tuned! 

A Book Review of Red, A Crayon's Story

Red, A Crayon's Story
Written and Illustrated by: Michael Hall
Published by: Greenwillow Books, 2015

Red, A Crayon's Story, is a brilliant book that is a must-read for children, teens, as well as (and especially) adults. The crayon, labeled red on the outside, was actually blue on the inside. As much as Red tried to live up to his label, he was unsuccessful. He sustained much pressure and judgement from the other crayons. Something was wrong and needed fixing. And, everyone had a suggestion. He felt like a failure as he wasn't living up to other's, or even his own, expectations,
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Eventually, purple crayon accepted him for who he was and recognized his value. This provided Red the confidence that he needed to move forward. Red reached self-acceptance for who he truly was and gained the courage to verbalize "I'm blue." This set him free. Once he was free to be his authentic self, he was accepted by the other crayons. 

Did you catch the metaphor? This book examines the journey of a transgender person working through gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is defined as the discomfort and distress caused by a discrepancy between a person's gender identity (blue crayon) and their assigned sex at birth (red label). There is also some blending between the colors in the book to create new colors. This is not only an art lesson in color mixing, it represents a powerful point. The point is that color, or gender, are not absolute. They can be blended and explored to create a continuim of colors (or gender). Thus, gender can be on a spectrum, ranging from very male to very female and everthing in between. 


Why is this book appropriate for young children? Some children as young as 3 years old start to question their gender. Some are able to verbalize this feeling, for example, "My body is a boy, but I'm a girl." Or, "My parts don't match who I am." Or simply by insisting repeatedly that they are the other gender. Research shows that about 75% of transgender adults began experiencing gender dysphoria between the ages of 4.5 and 7. Therefore, it is in the best interest of gender-questioning young children to see themselves in literature and to not feel alone with their feelings. 

This book is equally important for those who aren't in the situation of questioning their sexual identity. If children learn about the transgender experience at a young age, they are more likely to become accepting. If we can develop openess for differences early on, our society will be all the better for it. Sadly, the crayon society is leaps and bounds ahead of us in learning acceptance. 

Transgender individuals are vulnerable in our society. They are often the victims of teasing, bullying, and physical abuse. Due to this intolerance, the rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide are extremely high among this group.  It is crucial for the mental health of all humans to be able to live their best lives as their authentic selves.  

Since this blog post is already long, and I have much more to say, I'm going to continue with this topic next month. I will be in search of another amazing book on gender identity/questioning to review! March's post will be focused on addressing the needs of the gender questioning child. Make sure to check out the fun exercise below!

If you wish to purchase this book, click HERE. Or better yet, purchase it at an independent bookstore near you. 

An Activity Idea for Red, A Crayon's Story

Materials needed: 
-Paper bag
-Crayons or markers
-pencil
-Construction paper
-scissors
Directions: 
1. Have the child draw themselves on
the front of the paper bag and color. 








​2. Have the child add a label to the front of the bag of their assigned sex at birth. Boy or girl. 





​

​3. Discuss the child's interests and
favorites and write them down.
For example:
favorite color, 
favorite toys,
favorite things to do,
favorite sports,
favorite movies,
favorite books,
hairstyles they prefer,
clothes they prefer to wear.

4. Draw their favorites and interests
from above on a separate paper:
Cut them out.







​5. Have them place these cut-outs
 inside the bag. 



6. Discuss the fact that people have different ideas on what fits the boy label or girl label based on what they've been taught. 

- Should you be able to like what you like, even though some people think that it doesn't match your label of boy or girl?  Why or why not? 

-Do you ever get teased when your interests or favorites don't fit with what others think is appropriate for a  boy or girl?
How does that make you feel? 

-If you felt forced to change or hide what you like because others thought it didn't match your label of boy or girl, how would you feel?














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6 Comments
Sande Roberts link
2/18/2022 08:16:00 am

Vasilia, this is a great review of an excellent book on this important topic. Thank You!!!!!

Reply
Vasilia Graboski
2/18/2022 06:10:56 pm

Thank you, Sande!!

Reply
Michelle Steinberg link
2/18/2022 06:43:35 pm

Thanks for focusing on young children’s identity in this book and activity.

Reply
Vasilia Graboski
2/20/2022 12:33:26 pm

Thanks for reading!

Reply
Mary McClellan
2/19/2022 02:55:32 pm

Great post about an important subject. Yes, the crayon society IS leaps and bounds ahead of us in learning acceptance. I think crayons should run for office!!

Reply
Vasilia Graboski
2/20/2022 12:34:00 pm

Periwinkle for President!

Reply



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