Vasilia Graboski
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Psyched Writer

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This blog is a resource for fellow therapists, parents and teachers. I will provide suggestions and reviews of books that I have found especially therapeutic and useful for various social-emotional issues.  And...my favorite part...I will provide accompanying activities related to the book to help with teaching social-emotional skills.

​I would love for you to check it out and give me your feedback. 

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Home Is Where Your Heart Is!

10/15/2021

4 Comments

 
Great news on Psyched Writer Blog this month! I have added categories linked to the topics of the book reviews/activity ideas. So, from now going forward, it will be much easier to find the topic you are looking for. I'm hoping this addition will make this blog experience much more user-friendly. The categories are listed on the right side of the post. Just click the category of interest and all of the book reviews/activities related to that topic will pop up. Check it out! 
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A Book Review of Emily's Blue Period

Emily's Blue Period
Written By: Cathleen Daly
Illustrated By: Lisa Brown
​Published By: Roaring Book Press

I'd like to share another tidbit of exciting news from this past month! Sometime last year, I heard about a bookstore in Seattle, Washington, that focuses on "literary therapy." In September, I was visiting my son in Seattle, so, of course, I had to check it out! And I'm so glad I did! The bookstore, in the Capital Hill area of Seattle, is called Oh Hello Again. The unique twist on this bookstore, which is close to my heart, is that they organize their books by emotion.
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For example, if you are looking for a book on anxiety, you go to the "Anxiety" section and, VOILA, there are all of their books that address this topic in one spot! The books are mostly fiction and  represent all age levels from adults to young children. Definitely, a bibliotherapist's dream! If you live in or visit  the area, I definitely recommend checking it out in person. If not, their books are available for purchase on-line too! Check out their website here. 

Emily's Blue Period is one of the books I picked up at Oh Hello Again in September! I knew going into the store that my blog was lacking books on divorce. So, when I arrived into the store, I went to the section on "Divorce" and, VOILA, this book was calling my name! 

Emily's Blue Period is a picture book/early chapter book hybrid. It's divided into a few chapters and the length is a bit longer than a traditional picture book. However, it is full of beautiful illustrations. I would use this book for a wider range of children, specifically 4 - 10 year olds. The younger readers may need to read it in more than one sitting, depending on their attention span. 


The author, Cathleen Daly, does a fabulous job integrating a love of art, facts about a famous artist and the experience of separation/divorce into one story. The art focus in the story, in addition to teaching kids a bit about art history, lightens up the intense feelings portrayed in the book.

The main character, Emily, wants to be an artist when she grows up. She is learning about Pablo Picasso in school and makes efforts to emulate him. After Emily's father moves out of their house into an apartment, Emily uses her knowledge of Picasso to help navigate her experience. She compares Picasso's art of mixing things up to her family being mixed up. 

When Emily learns about Picasso's blue period, in which he was very sad and only painted in shades of blue, she relates and decides she is in her "blue period" also. During this time, her sadness comes through clearly in the book, as she refuses to participate in art class unless she can use the color blue. The book also brings in the strong emotions of Emily's brother, Jack, as he responds to the family situation with anger. 

The climax of the story comes when Emily learns about collage in art class. The teacher assigns the class a project to make a collage of their house. This is sad and confusing for Emily as she does not know which house to call her own. With the help of her family, she learns that "Home is where the heart is," and eventually comes up with an idea. Emily creates a collage in a heart shape and integrates special things from her mom and dad's house on her one heart. She calls it the home of her heart. This activity is very therapeutic for Emily and marks the end of her "blue period." 

The illustrations by Lisa Brown are detailed and in muted colors which fit the mood of the story. She uses a dull shade of blue throughout much of the book to accentuate the sadness that Emily is experiencing. 

I highly recommend this book for children who are navigating through separation and divorce of their parents. The collage activity from the story is such a great therapeutic activity, that this is the activity I'm going to recommend this month. 

Check out the author's website and explore other books by this author here.

An Activity Idea of Emily's Blue Period

This month we are going to create the same project as Emily in the book. It is an amazingly therapeutic idea for children of divorce, so I want to highlight it. This project is likely going to take more than one session. 

Materials Needed:
-large paper roll
-pencil
-scissors
-glue stick and strong glue 
-crayons or markers
-old magazines
-photos of parents, siblings, houses, etc. 
-Collected reminder items from each home
​that child would like to include
​-cut out computer images if needed
-heart stickers (optional)
Directions: 
1. From a roll of paper, cut off a large piece.







2. Fold the paper in half.




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​3. Draw half of a heart on the crease of the paper and cut it out, leaving the crease intact. You can make the heart as big as you'd like.  

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4. Unfold; and VOILA, a heart! 
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5. Spend some time discussing with the child the similarities and differences between their two homes. Discuss what is special at each of the homes and how they have fun with that parent. Brainstorm ways to portray these on the collage. 

6. After supplies have been gathered, glue
items on the heart in collage form. Start with the pictures and cut outs from magazines or computer. One side of the heart is about Mom and the other side is about Dad. Some of the things we added were a picture of each parent and a picture of the house. A picture of the pet she has at each house, bedding that her bedroom is decorated with, activities they do together, ie. baking, boating/fishing, etc. 

7. Then add names and words.








8. Draw and cut out a chimney and glue to the top of the heart. 






























​9. Add other 3 dimensional items; we added heart stickers, yarn that reminded her of carpet in each house, pom poms of their favorite colors, flowers because she and mom plant flowers together in the Spring, ice cream cone sticker as she and Dad often go out for ice cream, etc. 




​10. Finished project of the home that fills the child's heart! After all, home is where your heart is!
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Display on wall. Enjoy!


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4 Comments

The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease.

8/17/2021

2 Comments

 

A Book Review of The Invisible Boy

The Invisible Boy
Written By: Trudy Ludwig
Illustrated By: Patrice Barton
Published By: Alfred A. Knopf

The story of The Invisible Boy gives credence to the common adage "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." Brian, the main character in the book, is a boy who seems invisible in his classroom. He often goes unnoticed by the teacher and other students. Why? Because he is a quiet, introverted boy. He is not a squeaky wheel. He doesn't make much noise or take up a lot of space. This book is about many things including kindness, standing up for others, feeling left out, etc. But, most importantly, it is about the needs and strengths of the quiet child. 
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​The Invisible Boy is a book I treasure as it is one after my own heart. I was one of those quiet children and I would venture to guess, the author, Trudy Ludwig, was one or knew one intimately. She shows incredible insight into the realities of an introverted child throughout this book. I truly appreciate this perspective as there are few people who recognize the inner workings of the quiet child. The majority of books on the subject focus on changing the quiet child to become more outgoing. This reflects the presumption in our society that being quiet is somehow less desirable than being outgoing. This book takes a refreshing spin and celebrates Brian for who he really is and not who society wants him to be. 

As important as it is for us to accept and celebrate cultural differences, it is equally important to accept and celebrate personality differences. The needs of quiet kids often get overlooked as they do not bring attention to themselves. They may not want to be the center of attention, but they still want to feel included. They may not want public recognition, but they still want to be recognized. They may not be the life of the party, but they want to be invited. ​
We all can't be actors on the stage. Without the people in the background making the props, working the lights or making the costumes, the show will not go on. 

The struggles Brian encounters throughout the book are typical classroom situations that are often dreaded moments for the quiet child.  
For example, 
-Being told to team up with a partner for a project, 

-Classmates picking teams for sports
-Others talking about things in which the quiet child wasn't included
​-Lunchtime
Each one of these common classroom situations remind quiet kids of their standing in the classroom-INVISIBLE. Brian's experience to these awkward moments is described insightfully in the book as follows:

"Brian looks at the floor, wishing he could draw a hole right there to swallow him up." 

I am certain that is a statement in which most quiet kids can relate! Wouldn't it be nice to provide a classroom environment where quiet kids didn't have to feel that way throughout the day? 

Brian's unique strengths are portrayed in the book. Similar to many quiet kids, Brian is sensitive to the feelings of others, and observes and notices many things that his louder peers may not. Brian's life in the classroom improves when he overhears the new boy in class, Justin, being teased and writes a special note to him. This is Brian's unique way of showing kindness in a quiet way that others may not notice. However, it only takes the kindness of one person to lead others to be kind. After receiving the note, Justin is then kind to Brian and includes him with another friend. After seeing Justin being kind to Brian, the other friend includes Brian too. And this kindness chain will spread to others.  By the end of the story, Brian is recognized for his artistic talent in a small group situation, which makes him feel special and included. 

One of my favorite features in this book, is the creativity of the illustrator, Patrice Barton. The illustrations are large and colorful and grab the reader's attention. Brian's artistic talents are clearly displayed with many interesting and fun children's drawing. The special gem in this book is that Brian is in black and white at the beginning of the story, and the rest of the illustrations are in color. As the book progresses, and Brian starts to feel more included and comfortable, more color is added to his character. By the end of the story, Brian is drawn in full color. This is such a clever visual detail that adds much intensity to the story. 

Let's not forget, the quiet kids need oil too. Make an effort to notice them and accentuate their strengths. The world will be better, and more colorful, for it. 


To purchase this book, and check out others by this author, click HERE. 

An Activity Idea for The Invisible Boy

Materials Needed: 
-Paper
-Pencil
-Crayons
-Envelope
Directions: 
Ask the child if there was a time they felt invisible like Brian. If so, have the child draw a picture of what happened and discuss how that felt when it happened. 

Discuss their personality and Brian's personality. How are they the same? How are they different? 

Have the child think of someone at school, in their neighborhood or family, that may feel invisible. Or someone they witnessed being teased or bullied. List some ideas they can do to make them feel included and valued. 

Using Brian's idea in the book, have the child write a note to this person they are thinking of. What can they say to make this child feel included or special? Have the child draw a picture on the note to show the child that they are noticed. 

Then ask,
How do you think the child will feel when they get your note? 
How will you feel about giving them the note?

2 Comments

Can I Give You a Hug?

7/15/2021

2 Comments

 

A Book Review of Rissy No Kissies

Rissy No Kissies
Written by: Katey Howes
Illustrated by: Jess Engle
Published by: Carolrhoda Books

Rissy No Kissies is a story about a lovebird who doesn't like kisses. Lovebirds are all supposed to like kisses, but Rissy does not. They make her tummy feel icky. When others try to kiss her, Rissy chirrups "NO KISSIES!" with a most emphatic squeak. Adults and peers are taken aback by this. They ask, Is she confused? Is she sick? Is she rude? Is she being mean? Due to these negative responses from others, Rissy starts to doubt herself and asks her mother for help. Her mother, fortunately, uses her great bird brain and tells Rissy beautifully, "Your body and your heart are yours, and you choose how to share." And, VOILA! we have the theme of the book. 
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Rissy No Kissies is an important book for many reasons. It addresses body autonomy, consent, boundaries, sexual abuse prevention and sensory issues. That is a lot of value to pack into a picture book. So, I am definitely a fan! The author, Katey Howes, did a great job presenting these concepts in an engaging way that young children can understand. The colorful watercolor illustrations by Jess Engle are adorable and help to lighten up this heavy subject. 

This book is as important for adult readers as it is for kids, as we are responsible for allowing kids to have autonomy over their bodies. Even if Uncle Joe doesn't like it, we need to give the message to our kids that they have the right to say "No" to unwanted physical touching of any kind. Kids need to have the power to make decisions about their bodies and practice this skill to build confidence for high school, college and later years when consent becomes an even bigger issue. 

The reason the topic of body autonomy and consent are so important to kids is seen in the statistics. According to the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization (RAINN), in the United States:


*1 in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under 18 years of age experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. 
*Females ages 16 - 19 are four times more likely to be victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault.
*Every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted.
*Child sexual abuse perpetrators are:
    *59% acquaintances
    *34% family members
    *7% strangers

The effects of sexual abuse and assault severely affect the victim's mental health, whether the victim is a child or an adult. Therefore, it is imperative that we do a better job at prevention.  Learning concepts like these at a young age, will go a long way to prevention. it is crucial for adults to respect the preferences of kids when it comes to touch. Unfortunately, all adults are not going to do this, so this is when the caretaker needs to step in and validate the child's preferences. Saying "No" to an unwanted hug now can translate into having the confidence to say "No" later to an unwanted sexual encounter. 

It is especially important to practice these skills when there is a power deference. When someone has power over you, like an adult to a child, it is much more difficult to say "No." Kids have been taught repeatedly to listen to adults, respect their elders, etc.  Unfortunately there are adults that take advantage of this power deference and this is a huge factor in the sexual abuse of children. This is also true for sexual assault in adults. The perpetrator often has power over the victim, whether it be due to age, role (parent, teacher, priest, boss, coach, etc.), physical size or social status. We need to practice saying "No" to those who have power over us when it comes to our bodies. The more practice kids get, the easier it will become later. 

It is the child's choice how to show love and caring to others and there are many options. Rissy is more comfortable with the options of giving feather fives, nuzzles, singing songs, holding wings, giving cards, hugs, handshakes, and waves. Also this is not universal. She may be comfortable hugging her parents, but not comfortable hugging Uncle Joe. She may prefer to give teachers and peers high fives, rather than snuggle with them. Comfort level depends on the relationship. Children have good instincts on who is not safe and as adults, we need to help children get to the point of trusting their own instincts. 


​Another huge factor in learning about consent as a young child is learning the concept of obtaining permission before touching another person. Learning to respect another's body and not feeling entitled to do what you want to someone else without their permission is crucial. Whether it's a hug from Uncle Joe to a 5 year old, or a sexual encounter with a college classmate. If we learn from a young age that all of these things require permission, this will become the norm and sexual assaults will decrease. Asking a peer if they can give them a hug before doing it, and learning to respect their response, can translate to asking a peer later for a sexual encounter and respecting their "No." 

Additionally, sensory issues are very prevalent and to some people certain kinds of physical touch are uncomfortable. It is important that this is normalized and children or adults with sensory issues aren't made to feel "weird" for refusing certain kinds of touch. The message in this book is actually quite simple. Let's just respect one another and teach this from a young age. At the end of the book, the author has added a helpful note for kids and caregivers. 

If you're interested in more information about sexual abuse and assault, including a hot line number, you can learn more here. 

If you'd like to purchase this book and check out others by this author, click here. 

I have included an activity below to further explore the concepts in this book with kids. 

An Activity Idea for Rissy No Kissies

The most important activity is to practice and model with kids the concept of asking others before touching them. Equally important is to have them practice using their voice to say if a certain touch is uncomfortable to them. Role playing is a helpful activity to practice these skills. Then, have fun with the following craft activity! 

Materials Needed: 

-white paper plate
-black marker
-tissue paper cut into squares and scrunched
-glue
-yellow construction paper or cardstock
-orange construction paper

-watercolor paints or crayons
-paint brush and cup of water
-craft feathers
-googly eyes (optional)
Directions:
1. Make a list of people in the child's life and
ask the child: "How do you prefer to
show the following people that you care?"
Write it on the back of the paper plate. 




2. Turn paper plate over and glue on tissue paper squares for a nest. 







​3. Draw shape of Rissy the bird onto yellow paper and have child cut it out.








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4. Have the child paint or color the bird's body as they choose; Let dry
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5. Glue feathers onto bird for wings, tail and hairdo. 







6. Glue on googly eyes or draw on eyes. 








7. Fold a side of the orange paper and draw a triangle for the beak. 







8. Have child cut out triangle; leaving the fold intact to make a 3-D beak.






​9. Glue the crease of the beak onto the bird. I folded the beak slightly to look more like Rissy's. 






10. Rissy is finished! 








​11. Now glue Rissy onto her nest. Remember, Rissy doesn't like kissies! You could ask her if she would like a hug or a feather-five!
Have fun!











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2 Comments

What Would Blake Do?

6/15/2021

2 Comments

 

A Book Review of Blake's Big Day

Blake's Big Day
Written by: Sande Roberts
Illustrated by: Wendy Fedan

Sande Roberts, a psychologist and writing friend of mine, wrote and published this book in honor of her brother, Glen. Glen is described as a "cat whisperer," as he has a knack for training cats. He helps others pick out and train cats of their own for companion animals. Glen is a person with disabilities and chronic medical issues. He has found his niche in the cat world, and contributes to the community in other important ways. Glen is a strong advocate for people with disabilities and is often invited to do speaking engagements. He works at raising awareness regarding the disability community and advocates for the needs of people with disabilities. 
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Blake, the other character in the book, is Glen's cat. Blake is a smart and caring cat. Blake was born into a situation where he was not well cared for or fed properly. The place where he lived was dirty and full of other cats that were also uncared for. Glen adopted Blake after he was rescued from this bad situation and brought to a shelter. Others were not interested in adopting Blake because he was small and looked unhealthy. However, Glen looked past his appearance, and immediately saw Blake's potential. Glen did not judge Blake based on his history. Blake did not judge Glen based on his disabilities. They immediately developed a strong connection. 

There are big lessons in this book that we can learn from Glen and Blake. People with disabilities are NOT their disabilities. People with difficult histories or from poverty are NOT their histories. Regardless of any of those things, we all have our own set of gifts and talents and can contribute to the world in big ways. We are all worthy, deserve respect and should be included in the world and not shunned. 

To obtain a world where everyone is treated fairly and respectfully, we need to be exposed to things and taught from a young age. That is where this book comes in!  In addition to the great story, this book exposes kids to a person with a disability and a cat that comes from poverty and a difficult beginning in life. This gives kids a window into the lives of these characters, normalizes their situations as part of our world, and helps them develop empathy. Reading diverse stories, watching diverse movies, and having diversity in your life, can go a long way to decrease stigma in our society, It is not only awareness that is important, but acceptance and tolerance to others who are different from ourselves. 

The key is to normalize the differences in human beings at a young age, whether it be due to skin color, gender identity, cultural differences, economic situation or disability. This will help with one's possible fear of others, with bullying, and encourage kids to stand up for others who are being treated unfairly. Seeing people with disabilities can be scary and uncomfortable for kids sometimes. Kids are naturally curious and will often ask questions. This is normal and should not be discouraged. However, the more preparation they have had for the real world of all different kinds of people, the less uncomfortable they will be. 

Some disabilities can be seen and others are hidden. For example, you would not know by looking at Glen, that he has seizures. However, if a child witnesses a seizure by another person, it can be scary. Again, preparation is key. This book can help start the conversation about seizures, and is especially important if a child has seizures or has a family member/friend that has epilepsy or is prone to seizures.

In the book, Glen has a seizure, which is very scary for Blake, who does not know what to do. After some trial and error, Blake finds something that helps (licking his toes!) and Glen comes out of the seizure. Blake was empathic toward Glen and did what he could to help. He also sees Glen as a functioning human being and respects him for the gifts he has. Blake is a model for all of us!

Wendy Fedan, the illustrator of this book, has displayed her talents throughout. Glen and Blake are beautifully illustrated and inviting characters. The art is fun and colorful and clearly shows the loving connection between Glen and Blake. 

I have attached a child-friendly training video about seizures below to take the exposure from the book a bit further. It is probably not a good idea for a child to lick the toes of someone having a seizure, as Blake did! So, this excellent video, by the American Epilepsy Foundation, can help them understand seizures and learn how to respond. 

The lesson that I took from the book is that Glen and Blake are both worthy. Their disabilities and tough start on life do not define them. The ironic thing is that due to Glen's strengths, Blake was saved. And, due to Blake's strengths, Glen was saved. We all have talents that are valuable to others, disability or not. So, when in a situation where you have contact with someone different from yourself, whether due to skin color, disability or whatever reason, think to yourself "WHAT WOULD BLAKE DO?" and act accordingly (without licking their toes!).

If you are interested in purchasing this book, it is available on Amazon HERE. 
Below is the video and I have provided an activity idea to go along with this adorable book. 

Activity Idea for Blake's Big Day

Discuss the strengths and differences of the characters in the book with the child. Address how they treated each other and why Blake was considered a hero. Discuss examples of differences that others may have from them, ie. skin color, economic status, hidden differences.  Then, have a discussion about human beings being different from each other, but that nobody is better or worse than another person. We can be different but all are still human (Well, except Blake!) and we all have our strengths. Try to think of someone from the child's life who is a person with a disability and brainstorm their strengths.

Materials Needed: 
-Black, yellow, grey and pink construction paper
​-scissors
-black marker
​-strong glue
​-craft stick or straw
-googly eyes (optional)
-pink craft pompom (optional)
Directions: 
1. Cut out a large oval on black paper for Blake's face. 









​2. Cut out 2 small ovals from yellow paper for eyes and draw black pupil and/or add large googly eyes in the center. 










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3. Cut out 2 triangles from black paper for ears. 










​4. Cut out mouth and tongue from pink paper.






​5. Cut out small pink triangle for nose, or use a pink pompom as we did. 

6. Glue all of the face parts onto the oval and make Blake! 


7. Glue stick or straw on the back so Blake can be held up; Let Dry. 






8. Cut out whiskers and glue on Blake. 




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​9. Blake is finished! "ME-WOW!" as Blake would say,

Now, provide examples for the child and have them hold up the hand-made "Blake" and say "What would Blake Do?" For example, If someone that uses a wheelchair is struggling to get through a door? "What would Blake Do?" or If someone is teasing someone due to their limb difference, "What would Blake Do?" This phrase can then be used when the child encounters a situation in real life, you can ask, "What would Blake Do?" and they can act accordingly. 
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Big thanks again to my artist helper who is also using her strengths to help others! 
2 Comments

Can You Find Your Way Past Mad?

5/15/2021

2 Comments

 

A Book Review of Way Past Mad

​Way Past Mad
Written by: Hallee Adelman
Illustrated by: Sandra de la Prada
Published by: Albert Whitman and Co.

Oh those feelings - a source of great joy and great pain in our lives. They crave attention and if we neglect them, they wreak havoc on our lives. One of our biggest tasks in life is to understand, accept and manage them. This is a skill that requires life-long learning. Children often show big feelings as they don't yet have the words to fully express their needs and frustrations. They need much instruction and direction on learning to understand and express those feelings in a safe and appropriate manner. That is where this series of books by Hallee Adelman comes in! 
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Ms. Adelman has written four books in this series to-date, focusing on different feelings presented in a child's-eye-view. The book that I am focusing on in this month's blog is Way Past Mad, which, of course, focuses on anger. However, most feelings don't stand alone. They are often intertwined with others and this can make it difficult to fully understand what is going on in ourselves and others. It is important to teach children that we can have many feelings at the same time. If we pay close attention to the story, we will see examples of these intertwined feelings. To take a deeper dive into the intertwined feelings, check out the activity below. This book is appropriate for children ages 3 to 8, and can even be helpful to many of us adults! 
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Way Past Mad normalizes anger and presents the feeling in a very relatable way for children. Prior to leaving for school one day, Keya experiences a series of events that make her feel "WAY PAST MAD!" These experiences include her brother, Nate, messing up her room, feeding her favorite cereal to their dog, and ruining her favorite hat. This is followed by her mother's rationalization of these offenses that Nate is only little, "he didn't mean it." What child with siblings cannot relate to that?! 

In some ways, Keya presents as a model to the readers as she is able to verbalize her feelings, as shown in the following excerpt:                         
 "I was way past mad
   the kind of mad 
 that starts 
and swells
​and spreads like a rash."
And, spreading like a rash it did! She took her MAD out on her friend, Hooper.  She did what many of us can relate to in the heat of the moment, and said things to Hooper that she really didn't mean. Then, Hooper caught her MAD. This MAD BUG could have spread like the Coronavirus! However, Keya recognized it and made an effort to correct the situation and get past her mad. She apologized to Hooper and shared why she had been so mad. This helped Hooper get past his mad too and that put an end to that dreaded MAD BUG, that could have spread around the whole school!

This part of the story has many messages. One being that if we handle our anger inappropriately and take it out on others, there are real life consequences. However, it also normalizes the fact that sometimes we don't handle our feelings well and that we are not infallible. When the latter happens, we can take responsibility for the damage we caused and make amends. Also, talking to someone about what has given you the big feelings can help diminish those feelings and build your relationship, rather than damage it. 

The illustrations in the book, created by Sandra de la Prada, are bold and colorful. The facial expressions clearly represent the strong feelings of the characters. The large images and fun drawings draw children into the story.

I recommend this book, and the other books in the series, as a means of helping children improve on this complex task of understanding and expressing their emotions appropriately. To purchase this book and check out the other books in this series, click here. I reviewed a different book by Hallee Adelman in September, 2020, My Quiet Ship, which you can check out in the archives of this blog.

I have provided a therapeutic activity idea below that goes along with the theme of this book.

Activity Idea for Way Past Mad​

To dive deeper into the feelings of this book, explore with the child the other feelings, besides anger, that the characters might be feeling. For example, when Nate messed up Keya's room, what other feelings might she be having? Maybe, frustrated, annoyed, etc. Also, when her mom made excuses for her brother, could she have felt jealous of her brother or sad that he mom didn't acknowledge her feelings? Do this throughout the book, even with Hooper. Try to pull out more complex feelings such as frustration, jealousy, disappointment, etc. I have found that kids need more practice with these more specific emotions that can be intertwined in the basic feelings. 

Also, start a discussion on what Keya did well and not so well in dealing with her feelings. What could she have done differently? What helped the situation? 

On to the activity . . .
Materials needed:
Balloons in multiple colors
Paper 
Pen
Directions:
1. Make a list with the child of what things
make them feel angry. These can also be
things that lead to anger, like frustration,
jealousy, etc. Help the child come up with a long list. 



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​2. Have child pick the color balloon that

makes them think of angry feelings.
Let the child try to blow that balloon and
pick one of the same color for yourself. 

3. Tell the child that you are going to
pretend that the air you are putting
into the balloon is their feelings. 


​4. Blow a burst of air into the balloon,
pinch the end so the air doesn't escape,
and tell them that this is their anger of
when their brother took their toy, blow
another burst of air and tell them this is
their jealous feeling when their friend
got a new bike, and continue blowing a
burst of air into the balloon while going
through their list of feelings, without
letting any air out. 







5. When the balloon gets very big and
almost full, ask them what would happen
if you kept putting more feelings in
without letting any out? The balloon
would burst, right?  What does it look
like when they burst from too many feelings?
How about their mom?  Or their friend?
Describe what other kids might do if their
balloon bursts. Do they throw things, hit, yell, etc.?

6. Ask them if they let their feelings out all
at once before they burst, but with this
many feelings inside, what would happen?
Build the anticipation! Let go of the full balloon
and let it fly around the room. (You'll probably
end up doing this part many times as the kids
love it!) This will show them that they would
still be out of control and do things that
may hurt others or cause problems. What did
Keya do when she had too many feelings
inside and they came out all at once?
Did that hurt anybody or cause problems? 
(Note: this part is probably not a wise thing
to do in person with coronavirus still circulating,
as your germs are going to fly everywhere.
Outside might be a better option for this or
waiting until coronavirus is behind us!)



​
7. Then go back to step 4 and add 2-3 feelings
with air into the balloon. Pull on each side of
the open end of the balloon to make it squeal.
Tell them that the balloon is crying and
asking if this will help let the feelings out?
Have them notice that the balloon is deflating,
so crying can help sometimes to let the feelings out. 



​
8. Now, go back to step 4 and start over with
blowing the balloon up and naming their feelings,
but after two or three incidents of feelings,
ask the child how they could let those feelings out.
Ie. talking about them, going for a bike ride,
running outside, taking deep breaths, coloring, etc.
Then, let some or all of the air out. Continue
blowing bursts of air with a few feelings and
letting the air escape after a coping strategy.
Then ask them if the balloon will ever get out
of control or burst if they keep putting feelings in,
coping, letting feelings out? Nope. This is what
they want to do so their balloon won't get
out of control or burst. 

9. Tie a couple balloons and bop them back
and forth, naming a feeling or a coping strategy
​with every time each of you hit the balloon. Have fun!



​






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