Vasilia Graboski
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Psyched Writer

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This blog is a resource for fellow therapists, parents and teachers. I will provide suggestions and reviews of books that I have found especially therapeutic and useful for various social-emotional issues.  And...my favorite part...I will provide accompanying activities related to the book to help with teaching social-emotional skills.

​I would love for you to check it out and give me your feedback. 

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Papa, Come Home. I Need You.

9/14/2019

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A Book Review of Knock Knock
My Dad's Dream For Me

Knock Knock My Dad's Dream For Me
Written By Daniel Beaty
Illustrated By Bryan Collier
Publisher: Little Brown and Company

Knock Knock is a powerful book on the topic of boys growing up in fatherless homes. This all too common experience is represented beautifully through this story. This book is relevant to all children, especially boys, who have an absent father for any reason. It would resonate with children that have experienced their father's incarceration, deportation, parental alienation due to divorce, death, lack of contact due to substance abuse, etc. ​It is appropriate for children ages 4-9, however, this story will have an impact on all who read it. 
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Millions of children in the United States live in single-parent homes without their fathers. This phenomenon has disproportionately affected minority groups, especially the African American Community, in a large part, due to the the history of mass incarcerations. It is also especially relevant today in the Latino community with the increase in deportations and family separations. 

Children growing up in fatherless homes tend to be more vulnerable to social problems and pressures. Research shows an increase in the likelihood of poverty, lower academic performance, behavioral and mental health issues and increased high school drop out rates. Children without a father figure also show higher rates of suicide, runaway incidents, substance abuse and aggression. Additionally, young men who grow up without father figures are twice as likely to end up in jail. Therefore, I think we can come to the conclusion that FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT! This fact is clear throughout the story. 

Daniel Beaty begins the story with a beautiful relationship between an African American father and son, who have many daily routines and rituals that bring them close. The father knocks on the son's door to wake him every morning and one day the knock doesn't come. Papa is gone. The boy strongly feels this void in his life and misses all of the rituals he did with his father. You can feel the sense of sadness and loss throughout the story and the illustrations.

The boy waits and waits for his father to return. He realizes he is lacking something and that he needs his Dad to teach him things as he grows. He shows a strong identification with his Dad and is afraid of forgetting what he was like. 

Finally, months later, the boy receives a letter from his father. This is a very sad moment in the story when he learns that his father will never be coming home. An important quote from the letter is "the best of me still lives in you." The father tells his son that he must knock down doors that he could not. He gives the boy hope that he still exists without his father and he has the potential to succeed. He does not have to let his past define him. 

The collage style illustrations throughout the book add tremendously to the heart and emotion of the story. Bryan Collier creates a realistic urban landscape with the father's things around the boy as a constant reminder. Of special significance is the hat that the father wore being present throughout the book. This seemed to me to be a symbol of the father always being present in the boy's life. I appreciate the representation in this book of an African American family. Children of all races need to be able to see themselves in books to know that they are relevant to the world. 


It is unclear in the book as to why his father is gone. However, the author pulls from his personal experience growing up in a home in which his father was incarcerated when he was young. The vagueness on the father's whereabouts feels especially relevant to me. Through working with these kids and families, I have noticed that it is common for caretakers to try and protect children from the fact that their parent was incarcerated. Children are often left in the dark with inadequate explanations and falsehoods, having to use their own imaginations on their parent's whereabouts. Children without a clear explanation often come to the conclusion that their parent left them voluntarily. This adds to the emotional distress and feelings of abandonment. For this reason, reading books such as this one, along with ongoing honest communication, are crucial to the emotional health of the child. 

This book not only addresses and acknowledges a child's feelings about a father's absence in their life, but also gives hope that they can move forward with the best parts of their fathers inside of them. 

The reality is, there IS hope! There are many things that can counteract risk factors in growing up in a fatherless home. Stand-in father figures can be especially helpful, whether they are extended family members, friends of the family or community members. Structured extra-curricular activities and/or church involvement can be helpful to kids in many ways. This participation can give them a sense of community, access to father figures and help increase self-esteem. 

I have included an activity below to go along with the book that can be meaningful to your children, clients or students. 

Also, check out the amazing monologue of Knock, Knock by the author, Daniel Beaty! 
https://www.danielbeaty.com/home

Activity Idea for Knock Knock

Since the illustrator used collage to develop the illustrations in the story, a great therapeutic activity would be to make a collage about the child's father. This might include cut-out pictures of things that Dad likes, ie. his favorite food, color, TV show, etc. It could also include interests the father has whether it be gardening, sports or cars, etc. Old photos, if available would be a nice addition, especially if there exists any of the child with their father. If the child does not know this information, it would be useful to have the current caretaker share some things they know. Additionally, you could help the child consult other family members and friends that knew him for more information. If that isn't available, have the child imagine what they think their father would like or be interested in. 

Materials Needed: 
Small poster board
glue 
scissors
old assorted magazines
copies of old photos
construction paper
letter stickers(optional)

Directions: 
1. Have child cut out pictures and/or lettering from magazines that reminds them of their Dad. Ie. favorites, interests, memories, etc. (if can't find pictures of what they want, draw things on construction paper and cut out)

2. Glue the above, overlapping, in a collage-like fashion, to the poster board. Add old photos if available.

3. Flip collage over and trim excess from edges of poster board.

4. Add lettering over the top with Dad's actual name and their name for him (ie. My Daddy, My Papa, My Father) 

5. Throughout the project, discuss father's interests, memories, personality, funny things about him, etc. If child never met father, have caretaker or others fill in gaps. 

6. Hang project in an area in the house that they will see often. 

​7. Have fun!
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