Can You Find Your Way Past Mad?

A Book Review of Way Past Mad

​Way Past Mad
Written by: Hallee Adelman
Illustrated by: Sandra de la Prada
Published by: Albert Whitman and Co.

Oh those feelings - a source of great joy and great pain in our lives. They crave attention and if we neglect them, they wreak havoc on our lives. One of our biggest tasks in life is to understand, accept and manage them. This is a skill that requires life-long learning. Children often show big feelings as they don't yet have the words to fully express their needs and frustrations. They need much instruction and direction on learning to understand and express those feelings in a safe and appropriate manner. That is where this series of books by Hallee Adelman comes in! 

Ms. Adelman has written four books in this series to-date, focusing on different feelings presented in a child's-eye-view. The book that I am focusing on in this month's blog is Way Past Mad, which, of course, focuses on anger. However, most feelings don't stand alone. They are often intertwined with others and this can make it difficult to fully understand what is going on in ourselves and others. It is important to teach children that we can have many feelings at the same time. If we pay close attention to the story, we will see examples of these intertwined feelings. To take a deeper dive into the intertwined feelings, check out the activity below. This book is appropriate for children ages 3 to 8, and can even be helpful to many of us adults! 
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Way Past Mad normalizes anger and presents the feeling in a very relatable way for children. Prior to leaving for school one day, Keya experiences a series of events that make her feel "WAY PAST MAD!" These experiences include her brother, Nate, messing up her room, feeding her favorite cereal to their dog, and ruining her favorite hat. This is followed by her mother's rationalization of these offenses that Nate is only little, "he didn't mean it." What child with siblings cannot relate to that?! 

In some ways, Keya presents as a model to the readers as she is able to verbalize her feelings, as shown in the following excerpt:                         

 "I was way past mad
   the kind of mad 
 that starts 
and swells
​and spreads like a rash."

And, spreading like a rash it did! She took her MAD out on her friend, Hooper.  She did what many of us can relate to in the heat of the moment, and said things to Hooper that she really didn't mean. Then, Hooper caught her MAD. This MAD BUG could have spread like the Coronavirus! However, Keya recognized it and made an effort to correct the situation and get past her mad. She apologized to Hooper and shared why she had been so mad. This helped Hooper get past his mad too and that put an end to that dreaded MAD BUG, that could have spread around the whole school!

This part of the story has many messages. One being that if we handle our anger inappropriately and take it out on others, there are real life consequences. However, it also normalizes the fact that sometimes we don't handle our feelings well and that we are not infallible. When the latter happens, we can take responsibility for the damage we caused and make amends. Also, talking to someone about what has given you the big feelings can help diminish those feelings and build your relationship, rather than damage it. 

The illustrations in the book, created by Sandra de la Prada, are bold and colorful. The facial expressions clearly represent the strong feelings of the characters. The large images and fun drawings draw children into the story.

I recommend this book, and the other books in the series, as a means of helping children improve on this complex task of understanding and expressing their emotions appropriately. To purchase this book and check out the other books in this series, click here. I reviewed a different book by Hallee Adelman in September, 2020, My Quiet Ship, which you can check out in the archives of this blog.

I have provided a therapeutic activity idea below that goes along with the theme of this book.

Activity Idea for Way Past Mad​

To dive deeper into the feelings of this book, explore with the child the other feelings, besides anger, that the characters might be feeling. For example, when Nate messed up Keya's room, what other feelings might she be having? Maybe, frustrated, annoyed, etc. Also, when her mom made excuses for her brother, could she have felt jealous of her brother or sad that he mom didn't acknowledge her feelings? Do this throughout the book, even with Hooper. Try to pull out more complex feelings such as frustration, jealousy, disappointment, etc. I have found that kids need more practice with these more specific emotions that can be intertwined in the basic feelings. 

Also, start a discussion on what Keya did well and not so well in dealing with her feelings. What could she have done differently? What helped the situation? 

On to the activity . . .
Materials needed:
Balloons in multiple colors
Paper 
Pen

Directions:
1. Make a list with the child of what things
make them feel angry. These can also be
things that lead to anger, like frustration,
jealousy, etc. Help the child come up with a long list. 



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​2. Have child pick the color balloon that
makes them think of angry feelings.
Let the child try to blow that balloon and
pick one of the same color for yourself. 

3. Tell the child that you are going to
pretend that the air you are putting
into the balloon is their feelings. 


​4. Blow a burst of air into the balloon,
pinch the end so the air doesn't escape,
and tell them that this is their anger of
when their brother took their toy, blow
another burst of air and tell them this is
their jealous feeling when their friend
got a new bike, and continue blowing a
burst of air into the balloon while going
through their list of feelings, without
letting any air out. 







5. When the balloon gets very big and
almost full, ask them what would happen
if you kept putting more feelings in
without letting any out? The balloon
would burst, right?  What does it look
like when they burst from too many feelings?
How about their mom?  Or their friend?
Describe what other kids might do if their
balloon bursts. Do they throw things, hit, yell, etc.?

6. Ask them if they let their feelings out all
at once before they burst, but with this
many feelings inside, what would happen?
Build the anticipation! Let go of the full balloon
and let it fly around the room. (You'll probably
end up doing this part many times as the kids
love it!) This will show them that they would
still be out of control and do things that
may hurt others or cause problems. What did
Keya do when she had too many feelings
inside and they came out all at once?
Did that hurt anybody or cause problems? 
(Note: this part is probably not a wise thing
to do in person with coronavirus still circulating,
as your germs are going to fly everywhere.
Outside might be a better option for this or
waiting until coronavirus is behind us!)



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7. Then go back to step 4 and add 2-3 feelings
with air into the balloon. Pull on each side of
the open end of the balloon to make it squeal.
Tell them that the balloon is crying and
asking if this will help let the feelings out?
Have them notice that the balloon is deflating,
so crying can help sometimes to let the feelings out. 



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8. Now, go back to step 4 and start over with
blowing the balloon up and naming their feelings,
but after two or three incidents of feelings,
ask the child how they could let those feelings out.
Ie. talking about them, going for a bike ride,
running outside, taking deep breaths, coloring, etc.
Then, let some or all of the air out. Continue
blowing bursts of air with a few feelings and
letting the air escape after a coping strategy.
Then ask them if the balloon will ever get out
of control or burst if they keep putting feelings in,
coping, letting feelings out? Nope. This is what
they want to do so their balloon won't get
out of control or burst. 

9. Tie a couple balloons and bop them back
and forth, naming a feeling or a coping strategy
​with every time each of you hit the balloon. Have fun!


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